Share and Try Not to Care...Too Much

      I am not good with goodbyes, or change, or being left on my own. So college is a great place for me!       Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of things I'm looking forward to about my new adventure, but to be honest, I've never felt more unprepared for something. And that's not just because I'm procrastinating on packing. Emotionally, this is going to be hard.       I've written plenty of blog posts discussing why I hate how temporary people can be, because I've been lucky enough to have so many great experiences that allowed me to be in the company of individuals I really bonded with, sadly for only a short while. If I thought leaving them was difficult, I'm trying to wrap my head around the fact that in one short week Marshalltown and the house that I've lived in for 10+ years will become pretty temporary for me. The routine and convenience I'm so used to will disappear. My dear friends from high school will be scattered in variou...

    First of all, if you caught that the title are lyrics from Into the Woods, we should be friends immediately. My favorite people are those who are never afraid to be themselves. It's so rare nowadays to find someone who doesn't conform, give into peer pressure, or alter their personality when with certain people. That's such a sad thing to me, because I know I do it, and if I notice pretty easily how other people's behavior changes, I'm sure they notice how mine does too.     I assume the habit comes from a place of insecurity. We put masks on and hide our real identity so as not to feel embarrassed or ashamed when we discover we don't fit in. I can very well admit that I have a strong desire for people to like me, which means I try not to step on any toes, share unpopular opinions, or make myself stand out in any way, shape, or form. Then I realize that that's not an honest representation of myself, but I still do it, because I'm a huge people pleas...

         I was introduced to Glee in 7th grade. My mom purchased the first half of season 1 on DVD because she had heard the media raving about it. My sister and I sat down with her to see what the hype was all about. Once Mr. Schuester exclaimed, "From the top!" after the glee club's first official performance of Don't Stop Believing I was hooked. Glee was a whole new exception to my TV series obsession. I had never been so excited to watch more episodes of a show before. Honestly, I could have watched all 13 episodes on the DVD that very first night we chose to view the pilot.          This TV show came into my life at the perfect time. Middle school wasn't horrible, but it was awkward (well duh, it's middle school). There was so much going on with Glee that I felt totally resonated with my early teenage years. Being insecure, discovering my passions, crushing on guys who didn't know I existed,...

          I adore the Fault in Our Stars, just to prove it you can read this   http://libbycrawford4.blogspot.com/2014/06/i-cant-find-single-fault-in-fault-in.html              A huge part of that film is one of the character's internal struggles which is the idea of being remembered after he passes away. He wants to leave his mark on the world, knowing his existence meant something. It's not an unusual desire for young people, but just as the character's love interest urges him to understand, maybe it's not a necessary desire.           I love dreamers. I am a dreamer. I do believe one person can make a difference in the world because there's hefty proof of it. I also believe though, that people overestimate what a "difference" actually is. Changing society, acting as president, transforming a music genre, they're all honorable...

     When I was younger being cool was always my aim; my version of cool that is. Currently I don't see a need to be cool, but I do try a lot of the time to be composed. Let's face it, I've never been very good at that either.       I grew up with social anxiety so even the shortest of conversations were torture to me. Thankfully, I really enjoy talking to people now and small talk doesn't scare me in the slightest. Well, that's partially a lie. Small talk with people I don't find intimidating is easy. Discussing myself, the weather, plans for the weekend, my education, and/or the rest of my life with old people, boys, teachers, or anyone I feel wouldn't hesitate to judge me, yeah that's a little cringe-worthy. For some reason when I'm put into those situation my mind goes blank so I appear to be an idiotic fumbling mess. Who wouldn't want to come across as such?       I can't express how many times I've deserved a...

      We've all heard that famous quote "Home is where the heart is." It was one of the few overused quotes that I could actually stand because I understood its worth. I really didn't though, until now.        I don't travel much and even when I'm in my own town, I'm a total homebody. It's where I feel most comfortable and contains so much of who I am that I feel no reason to stay away from it for too long. But then I got to thinking of how easily I've latched onto the people and places I've been lucky enough to be introduced to the past few years. In those experiences, I didn't have any hankering to get back home. I missed my family, but that was usually the extent of it. That's when I realized my definition of what home is changed completely.       I don't get homesick, I get family sick. Everyone says it, but I truly feel that being born into my family was the greatest gift God could ever give me. M...

   I promised myself I wasn't going to do another blog post about camp because it was painful enough writing the first one  -->  http://libbycrawford4.blogspot.com/2013/07/my-time-at-mcnally_3.html I heard "Not About Angels" in The Fault In Our Stars and thought it was gorgeous. It wasn't until I got back from camp and was on a run when it came up on my shuffle. Not really an energizing song, but I liked it enough that I let it play. I almost broke down crying but forced myself to hold it in because no one wants to see someone who's getting exercise cry. It's just awkward and sends a message that physical activity is emotionally distressing (which it almost always is in my case) OK Libby, back to the song! It just made my heart hurt in a way that I had to share.    My blog about McNally Smith's Summer Workshop last year sums up a lot of the same feelings that came with this year's experience. In ways they were pretty similar, but at the same time ...