Share and Try Not to Care...Too Much

My inner monologue is weird, comical, tragic, and I hope not entirely unique to me. As I wrote these down, I kept wondering if they were common amongst other teenagers. It's easy to assume that I struggle alone and in silence, but I decided to be vulnerable and share these to show anyone else who feels remotely close to how I do that they're not alone and it's OK to divulge a bit of your crazy now and then. <3   Major Anxieties Does God seriously have a plan for me? What if I live far away from my immediate family and only see them on holidays? What if I'm not close enough to my sister to be the kick-butt aunt I plan to be? Do I believe in soulmates or simply settling for someone I get along with? What if my best friends don't stay my best friends? Do I have any clue what I want to do with my life? Is my body the reason boys aren't interested in me? Will I let down all the people that believe in me more than I believe in myself? How will I functio

       Over the years I have learned that who you surround yourself with actually says a lot about you and will have a major effect on who you are as a human being. So, over the years, I am getting better and better at understanding what draws me to people, and more importantly, what makes me want to keep them in my life. Here are some things that I really like and appreciate about individuals:     1. People who can be funny without being mean I didn't realize how important this was until I saw The Fault in Our Stars, no joke. Augustus's eulogy to Hazel read, "She is funny without ever being mean. I love her. I am so lucky to love her..." I remember that sticking with me. I feel like it's easier for guys to get away with being comically rude, but I'm rarely impressed by it. When a bunch of dudes are together and ragging on each other, using profanity and cracking tasteless jokes, I am immediately uncomfortable. Steve Carell makes me laugh like no one el

         I am all for a diverse society that accepts individuality and understands that we don't all have to agree on everything. But I am sorry, there are just certain things I simply cannot be bothered to care about whether it was due to my upbringing or exposure (or lack thereof) to specific experiences. Here they are—        1. Anime   I know a lot  of people who are interested in anime. It goes right over my head. The storylines, characters, outfits, and whatever the hell else anime consists of don't appeal to me. But anime is apparently a huge thing, which is cool because it's shining a light on Japanese culture. I just have a really hard time holding conversations with people about it or even pretending to find it fascinating.         2. Hunting, Fishing, Camping   Not sure why I lumped all these together. I guess because I associate them all with camouflage and the wilderness. I hate the outdoors. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'll go on walks, meander