Recent Reflections

I wonder...
I wonder what it would be like to let my truth
flow from my lips
and not judge every bit of it as it does

I wonder how it'd be different to actually live
freely in the moment with my friends
and not hate myself for experiencing a new kind of buzz

I wonder if I'll one day be able to scroll through my feed
late at night
and not deem my beauty insufficient compared to the masses

I wonder if it'll ever become easier for me
to trust my loved ones with my brokenness
and not hope that they continue to view me with special glasses

I wonder how I would change if I learned
to take up space
and not convince myself that my light doesn't work that way

I wonder what it would feel like to actually want
to hold a guy's hand
and not listen to what that self-conscious voice in my head has to say

I wonder when I'll learn to embrace the hurt that accompanies
being human
and not shy away from what disturbs my safe, familiar shell

I wonder what it would be like to remember
that we all struggle along & within
and not to dismiss the strength present when we admit we're not doing well

(excerpt from Kate Tempest's play Wasted)

(excerpt from Rupi Kaur's book the sun and her flowers)

(excerpt from Glennon Doyle Melton's book Love Warrior)

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Tell Me About the Good

Last weekend, I said goodbye to another really enjoyable theatre experience. I was a part of the cast for the show I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change . It's a musical that explores the trials and triumphs a myriad of characters face when it comes to dating and mating. I vaguely knew of this show before auditioning, but for the most part, it was all new to me. There was rich humor evident in both song and dialogue, which excited me since I'm not someone who takes herself very seriously, especially when it comes to the complex world of dating 😬. It was a gift to tackle material that had me laughing often, and delighting in all the ridiculousness the theatrical creative process can offer. Oddly, even with all that comedy present, I did find myself latching onto the moving moments of the writing. Working on this show encouraged me to reminisce on matters of both the mind and heart . In this post, I lay out some discoveries, as well as input from others who I ask

Glimpses Underneath the Surface

I want to write about how I believed myself to be beautiful when younger, and how much I struggle to now. I didn't dwell on my deviated septum when I was a kid. Hell, I don't even think I knew I had one until high school. I loved taking pictures of myself, regardless of if I had makeup on or had styled my hair. I wore pajamas, dance costumes, and matching sweatsuits on any given day because I felt cute and comfortable in them. I was unconcerned with the terms "muffin top" or "love handles," and couldn't tell you the difference between a scissor and a flutter kick. I watched TV shows and movies that starred gorgeous actresses, but I identified with their spirit before ever considering comparing my appearance. I am trying to find my way back to that internal knowing of my worth. Wet hair, pajamas that barely cover my burgeoning belly, and a pool stick positioned in the most unfortunate place it could be. Ah yes, that's the Libby I reco

Always Taking Notes

I was talking to someone recently about how post-grad life feels, and I tried to articulate how weird it is to know I won't be returning to school again in the fall. Something that has been so routine and dependable for more than a decade of my life has changed. I'm aware that there are ways school can become a staple in my life again, such as attending grad school or teaching, but for now I'm attempting to make peace with the unknown and uncover the excitement that can come from no predetermined obligations. My schedule is really mine to do what I want with; that's crazy! Something else I expressed to this person is that while I may not be immersed in a schooling environment, I still like to describe myself as a student. I truly do love learning in its many forms, and I think if you shut yourself off from it once you leave a formal education setting then you're going to miss out on a lot of growing opportunities. Life itself is probably the ultimate teac

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