I am pretty young to be thinking about having children, but let's face it, there's no way I'm not going to be a mother in the future. If there's one thing that comes naturally to me beside my immediate laughter to farting, it's my maternal instincts. I'm only 19 but I already know that it will be the most emotionally exhausting and ridiculously rewarding (yes alliteration!) job I'll ever have.
I've had a tough relationship with my self-esteem and body image ever since I can remember. It started at a young age and based on the society we live in today, I believe it will be hard for my daughter to avoid the same troubled mindset I have when it comes to her own body. Who knows if I'll actually have a daughter, but if I do, I want her to know that these are some of the things I hope for her throughout her life.
- I hope she won't develop a resentful relationship toward food; specifically desserts
- I hope she won't feel compelled to suck in her stomach for every picture that will show her full body
- I hope she won't feel discouraged in dance class when all the smaller girls strip down to their leotards and spandex while she prefers to keep on her t-shirt and gym shorts
- I hope that she never has to stand in front of a mirror for a painfully long amount of time wishing her muffin top would disappear
- I hope she won't dread being on stage in her outfit because the costumer forgot not all girls love exposing their mid-section
- I hope she won't avoid swimming at all costs because she's insecure about the fact she doesn't wear a bikini
- I hope she never has to cry in a dressing room because she's so tired of trying on clothes that don't fit
- I hope she won't let the fact that her body isn't the way she wishes it to be overshadow all her other wonderful traits
- I hope she won't have to listen to her skinnier friends point out all their "flaws" and then wonder how ugly she must look
- I hope she won't feel wrong for being more covered up at parties and formal events than other females are
- I hope she never feels ashamed to work out in a public gym
- I hope she won't feel embarrassed to ask for or choose the size she actually needs in the clothing store just because it's a "large" or bigger than a size 6
- I hope she never feels the need to apologize to someone who has to lift or touch her body
- I hope she won't feel down when the celebrities she thinks are gorgeous are posting on their social media about how they're not in good enough shape
- I hope she won't see other girls and immediately assume the guy she has a crush on would pick them over her simply based on looks
- I hope she won't have to look away from the scale while the nurse weighs her because she has let a number have that much power over her
- I hope she won't get worked up over the tiny girls she knows who eat pizza and donuts and drink loads of pop yet still never gain visible weight
- I hope she won't consider herself less worthy of love, success, or happiness based on her body
- I hope she will wear clothes that make her feel cute and like herself, regardless of if they're "in style"
- I hope she will get ice cream with her friends or family because those are bonding moments she shouldn't miss
- I hope she will believe the guy who tells her that she has a nice butt...and then tell him that she'd appreciate compliments that don't relate to her physical features, thank you very much
- I hope she will enjoy physical activity because it makes her feel strong and capable
- I hope she will always befriend women of different shapes and sizes because their personality and character inspire her and enrich her life
- I hope she will go out to social events even when her jeans are too tight and expose her love handles
- I hope she will dismiss the negative body-talk of her friends
- I hope she will eat the foods she craves once in a while, even if it's Reese's Puffs or a cinnamon roll or Ben & Jerry's
- I hope she will remember that the things people will like her most for won't be related to her body
- I hope she will enthusiastically shimmy and shake her booty when the occasion calls for it
- I hope she will push herself to be bigger and bolder than she's usually comfortable with
- I hope she will proudly take pictures of herself when she feels beautiful
- I hope she always remembers that beauty is a state of mind, not a state of body
- I hope she will grab that second slice of pizza...or third (I mean, if it's pepperoni)
- I hope she will buy that backless dress or high-waisted jeans or extravagant bra because the word "sexy" can actually apply to her
- I hope she will give her body the rest and care it deserves
- I hope she will realize that comparing is such a frustrating and fruitless pastime and she shouldn't let it become habit
- I hope she always remembers that a "healthy" lifestyle means something different to everyone and that she keeps trying and working and taking one step after the other even when her mind is telling her that her only purpose is to lay in bed
It pains me to think of the pressure we as women feel to meet these societal expectations and standards that simply aren't realistic. We owe it to our daughters, to ourselves, and to each other to make life less about having a bangin' body and more about having a genuine and empathetic heart that's inside of a body we value for doing its job.
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