Skip to main content

The Ongoing Stumble

Things people should say to each other more often
  1. You matter.
  2. Your body is not something to apologize for.
  3. If you're doing the best you can, then that's enough.
  4. Cry, just let it out.
  5. I won't judge you for pooping in the bathroom, we all do it.
  6. It's ok to be scared, I am too. 
  7. Thank you.
  8. I say this because I love you—stop doing stupid shit. 
  9. You are deserving of love and happiness.
  10. I am glad you're in my life.
  11. I will believe in you when you don't believe in yourself. 
  12. I'm sorry that I haven't always been there for you.

Things I should say to myself more often
  1. I matter.
  2. My body is not something to apologize for.
  3. I'm doing the best I can, and that's enough.
  4. Cry, just let it out.
  5. Poop in the freaking bathroom, you're a human being.
  6. I am scared and I am not alone.
  7. Thank you.
  8. Stop doing stupid shit.
  9. I am deserving of love and happiness.
  10. I am glad to be alive.
  11. There are others who believe in me even when I don't.
  12. I'm sorry that I have neglected taking care of me.

I struggle with self-love on a daily basis. I consider myself a loving person, but somehow it's a lot harder directing that love inward. Maybe I keep so many people in my heart that I forget who it actually belongs to. And while I'm proud of the relationships that reside in my heart, it's unhealthy to not rent out some space for myself. Going through life waiting for other people to tell you it's ok to feel good about who you are is a long sad road. It's full of doubt, insecurity, and comparison. I can list off three people I love more than myself and the qualities I admire most about them. Funny thing is, those are probably qualities they would use to describe me too.
We live in a society that makes looking in the mirror at your reflection a depressing task. We are told to not take selfies or overshare or brag about our accomplishments. Since when did celebrating one's unique self and journey become something to be ashamed of? Compliment people, share their successes, comfort them through the pain. We could all use a little more love in our lives.  
I'm my worst critic and often the one who stands in the way of my own happiness. It's because I can't recognize the positives in myself that I see in everyone else. I've been dealing with this for a long time and I'm sure I'm not alone. So let's ask ourselves, if we can be such good and supportive presences in our friends' lives, why can't we treat ourselves in the same manner?


     

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Tell Me About the Good

Last weekend, I said goodbye to another really enjoyable theatre experience. I was a part of the cast for the show I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change . It's a musical that explores the trials and triumphs a myriad of characters face when it comes to dating and mating. I vaguely knew of this show before auditioning, but for the most part, it was all new to me. There was rich humor evident in both song and dialogue, which excited me since I'm not someone who takes herself very seriously, especially when it comes to the complex world of dating 😬. It was a gift to tackle material that had me laughing often, and delighting in all the ridiculousness the theatrical creative process can offer. Oddly, even with all that comedy present, I did find myself latching onto the moving moments of the writing. Working on this show encouraged me to reminisce on matters of both the mind and heart . In this post, I lay out some discoveries, as well as input from others who I ask...
Post a Comment
Read more

Relearning Me

    I remember being an extremely impassioned kid. When I loved something, the people around me knew it. I went through a High School Musical phase wherein my bright pink bedspread showcased the title in all caps. Can't forget my  Camp Rock phase either. The soundtrack played on repeat in my room and I performed along with it, singing into my plastic microphone (that I definitely still own). I was infatuated with America's Next Top Model , which led me to writing my own Covergirl commercials and asking for my first pair of heels so I could walk down the living room in them as if I were on a runway. As a child, I was not afraid to get lost in my own fantastical world. I aspired to be a pop star, a real estate agent, a schoolteacher, and maybe even a stay-at-home mom. My dream jobs were endless really, because I was fascinated by all the possibilities. I am no longer fascinated by all the possibilities.       Anyone who knows me knows that I'm a huge ...
Post a Comment
Read more

25 Pieces of Advice from Freshmen Who Know What They're Talking About

    My freshman year of college has gone by all too quickly, and I'm not sure how to feel about it. So instead, I asked other people how they felt! I went around to different acquaintances/friends, both from high school and at WIU, and asked them, "What's the one big lesson you'll take away from your first year of college?" I was fond of the various answers I received: Don't screw up your dorm room walls. Be open to the weirdness of new people. Don't pre-game too much before the party. Take time to chill between classes.  You don't have to be perfect yet. You're here to learn. Patience, my friend. Try not to rip your hair out. Patience...and caffeine. Don't be a whore, and specifically don't bring peanut butter your first week of school. Change is OK; that's what life is about. Open yourself up to different kinds of people. A university is the best place to find people who are like you and who you can have a great time with...
2 comments
Read more