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Overcoming My 2014 Dilemma


    It’s normal to look back on your experiences, especially when a new year comes around. Usually I look back at these memories with fondness and gratitude, but something about this year was different. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still very thankful for the multitude of blessings that surrounded me in 2013, but when I took my trip down memory lane as the time kept ticking towards 12am, things just felt rather unsettling to me.

     I did a lot this past year and got put into many situations where I was kind of forced to meet new people and branch out of my comfort zone. While that certainly wasn’t easy for someone who is rather quiet and introverted like me, I couldn’t be happier that I ended up in those circumstances. I had the privilege of meeting people that I genuinely enjoyed. Even though I keep to myself more often than not,  I’d still say that I’m very people-oriented and have a lot of positive things to say about those who I’ve been close to for some time and even those who I was only introduced to for a short while. Here’s where the unsettling part comes in.

     I will always be a firm believer in the idea that almost everyone we encounter is meant to teach us something, but what never seems right is that they tend to leave after the lesson is learned. I’d like to think that I don’t get attached to people easily but when you you’re a naturally accepting and caring human being, chances are your big heart has already made room for people you’re just getting to know; and that can suck.

     I know that life never stays the same for long, but I hate the fact that I can come across new, fun, and down-to-earth people all while growing accustomed to their presence in as little as 2 days and then suddenly I’m never going to see them again. It’s just something my mind likes to dwell on because I know not everyone thinks this way; there are some people who don’t get sentimental at all. It just starts a waterfall of questions in my head. "Do they even remember me?" “Do they ever think of me now?” “Did they like me?” “Do they consider their time spent around me good/bad/a waste?”

    With a new year just starting to bloom I know this is a terrible weakness to have. Ultimately though, I feel like there’s something devastatingly beautiful about what I’ve been describing in this post. People touch our lives all the time, whether we care to admit it or not. Maybe time spent with people who impact your life in a strong way like this, is not meant to be dissected or questioned.

    I decided to not make any resolutions for 2014 because I didn’t feel comfortable setting expectations for my life because truth is, I honestly don’t know how much control I actually have over what happens to me. However I do know that writing this post has been rather therapeutic for me. While I’m steering away from creating resolutions, I’m going to encourage myself to adopt the notion that it’s wonderful to value people for the mark they’ve left on your life, but the story must go on. While it may be painful and hard to understand, not everyone can stick around to be a primary part of your life because they have their stories too; and when you care about people and allow them to occupy a place in your heart, you can no longer be selfish…you have to let them go and grow in their own experiences . And that’s OK.

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